Anger outbursts expose an ’emotionally challenged’ person
When your child is running towards a moving car, how many times do you want to tell her to ‘stop’ before she actually listens? Once … twice … ten times?
Or do you have to physically run after her before she gets in the path of the moving car?
Teaching a child to listen THE FIRST TIME may save her life some day!
Do you tell your child not to touch something, knowing the child will try to touch it anyhow? Eventually you get frustrated and angry, then move the item out of the child’s reach and hope he forgets. The child proceeds to show his temper and you give the child the item or something similar to appease him.
What is that teaching the child? It is teaching the child he does not have to listen and if he shows a temper tantrum, he can have whatever he wants. That child will carry that lesson with him into the world, including the classroom.
Fastforward: The child will not listen while in school (or play environment) and may be referred for an evaluation. The probability of being labeled a behaviorally difficult child is high and the concept of blaming the child has begun. It is the child’s fault. You are told he was born that way.
In general, it appears making an effort to teach social skills to children are a thing of the past. Children are not adults in little bodies; they are not born with the social skills needed to adjust well into our society. They depend on their parents to teach and guide them through childhood with lessons they will carry throughout their lives. It is an injustice to deprive them of these lessons.
It is possible many parents cannot differentiate acceptable discipline and unacceptable discipline. In this case, they are afraid to enforce any discipline. In certain situations, a tolerance level will be reached and either the parent crosses the boundaries of acceptable behavior (verbal or physical abuse) or removes the interactions with the child (transfers responsibility to another).
Teaching a child to listen on the first command is acceptable. It allows for a more peaceful, less stressful home environment, plus creates a more enjoyable experience with your child.
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