A common problem that is seen far too often anymore is the fuzzy line between wanting a relationship and a particular person and needing that relationship and that person. There are too many people that mask their own insecurities with making themselves feel like they need to have someone.
News flash people: You should not need to be in a relationship to be happy. If so, time to reevaluate.
The key is whether or not you’re happy with yourself as a person. Being unhappy with oneself makes a person yearn for anything that will somehow fill that void. Unfortunately, that void is usually filled with a below adequate substitute, or even worse, another person.
The biggest problem is that the person that needs a relationship is lacking something so prominent that actually having a solid, working relationship is next to impossible. This has the makings for something severely dysfunctional and we’ve all seen it before.
A person who is content with themselves and the life they already have prior to a relationship is more likely to succeed within a relationship. A person who doesn’t “need” a relationship but rather “wants” one to add just that much more happiness to their life is the one with it together. Once a person is to the point where they know in their heart that they are and can be happy being alone then that is when wanting to be in a relationship is a good idea. It just comes down to making sure you have all of your emotional ducks lined in a row. Nobody wants someone that has more emotional baggage than a 747. It’s just not attractive.
Girls, a guy likes to always feel appreciated but if you continuously tell him how much you need him to be in your life then all your doing is misplacing pressure right on his shoulders. This comes off as smothering and we all know how that goes. Girls that need relationships are the ones that have a boyfriend for a couple of weeks, break up, then find another one no more than twenty-four hours later. This is simply a cover-up of the damaged individual beneath it all. We all know the girls that fit this profile.
Guys, if you’re dealing with an actual real woman who is confident about herself, her job, and where she’s going in her life this can be the most terrifying thing ever if you’re not at the same level she’s at. If you’re that needy guy that’s insecure, always texting her asking who’s she with and where’s she at, all you’re doing is putting a strain on her. The modern day successful woman knows exactly what she wants and what she doesn’t want is someone who is going to hinder her progress in her own life. She doesn’t need you and once you start to become a liability she will drop you faster than third period French.
The one thing to remember is that the key to happiness is not about the relationships you have with others but the one you have with yourself first and foremost. Once you conquer the inner battle we all have to go through and can actually say, “I don’t need a relationship to make myself happy,” but rather, “I want a relationship to make my life more enjoyable,” then you are well on your way to living the more fulfilling life you desire.