You have your twins in your double baby stroller at the zoo. You are walking down the path, the sun is shining, the day is perfect, then it happens. Some stranger comes up to you and looks at your two toddlers as they mind their own business looking at all the cool animals.
“Just wait until they hit puberty. Your gonna want to rip your head out. They won’t be so sweet then.” As mom, you probably have to bite your tongue from saying something twice as sassy back. At least that is what it felt like for a local Joplin, Missouri mother of twins. She said that she encounters these comments all the time while in the store, at the park, and even amongst family. If you have twins that probably isn’t the only comment you have heard. How about these: “You sure know how to get the job done, two at once!” “Did you take fertility pills?” “Way to go dad, you’re the man.”
Being a mom of twins you probably have learned to be a little more laid back, but deep down you wonder, do these people not have a filter between their mouth and their brain? The truth is: probably not. When people see twins, it is unusual, so they automatically think they have to throw out some unusual comment to make themselves at ease. The trick is to have the perfect comeback to not offend, but hold your ground and stand up for your kids.
Here are a few suggestions:
“Just wait until they get older, they will be monsters!” Politely and confidently reply with something such as, “Well I think I am lucky because so far they have been great kids, and keep getting better as they get older!”
“Did you take fertility treatments?” This one is particularly common, but embarrassing. The fact is, if you did or did not take fertility treatments, it is none of their business. You can reply with “I was very blessed.” That isn’t giving them any information, but acknowledging you were fortunate and you are thankful.
“You sure know how to get the job done! Two at once..haha.” No, it isn’t very funny. And if your kids are older you can bet they will be asking what that person meant. Your reply to comments such as these may be “Well, we were very blessed…and I bet it cost a lot less then two kids at different times.”
The key is to never let your twins think they are a burden or problem because there are two of them. People sometimes don’t realize the consequences to their words, and as a parent it is your job to handle it with grace, style and wit. It does no one good to get snappy, but does no good to just laugh it off either. There is a beautiful balance between rude and clever, and probably when it comes to your children you are the best judge of what is acceptable around them. You can’t control what nonsense will come out of other people’s mouth, but you can your own. Rememeber….these are your babies!