The #1 New York Times bestseller “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, simply put, should be required reading for each and every woman dealing with the frustrations of dating in today’s world.
This nifty little book contains eighteen chapters. Each is titled with a different male behavior that women spend countless hours puzzling over. And as the authors teach us, each of these titles simply boils down to one more reason why he’s “just not that into you.” Yep, us women — complicated creatures that we are — tend to be quite masochistic. We spend endless time poring over tiny little details of our relationships, analyzing them to death, wondering what they could possibly mean, when all we’re really succeeding in doing is wasting our precious time. The answer is right there in front of our faces.
As Greg informs us in the introduction, the “mixed signals” that guys send us that leave us so confused? Well, we’re not really confused. We’re “hopeful.” It then happened upon me that I may not be as bright as I always thought, because never until I read that statement, did I realize, “Oh my goodness, he’s absolutely right.” We spend so much time pouring our hearts out to our girlfriends, desperate seeking the truth, yet somehow unable to find it. We think we are confused. Really, we’re just looking for someone to give us a reason not to give up on Mr. (not so) Perfect. We know that what he’s doing is a sign that he’s not into us, but we still desperately want to believe he is. Well, as Greg points out, men are much more “black and white” than we like to think.
One major highlight of this book, that is repeated quite often, is that Greg is quite adamant that women not do the asking out. That is the guy’s job. He says that if the guy likes you, he will ask you out. “If a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way. And if he’s not sane, why would you want him?” There is then a poll that tells us that out of twenty men (age 26 to 45) in serious, long-term relationships, not one of their relationships started with the woman asking them out.” Hmm. Interesting…
The book addresses many common situations, such as “What if he doesn’t call me?” To the women that tell themselves, “Maybe he got too busy, he had a lot of work to do,” there is a poll that shows 100% of men polled said they’ve never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. One man even said that men have to have their priorities straight; in a good relationship, your partner is clearly a priority (if she’s not, there’s a distinct problem).
And what about commitment? As the book says, love cures commitment-phobia. If a guy really loves you, nothing is going to keep him from committing to you. He won’t want to lose a good thing. And what if you want to get married, but he’s flaking? Another poll shows that 100% of guys polled said they would have no problem marrying a woman who they were positive was the love of their life.
And about breaking up? Greg testifies, “A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.” Seem like your man wouldn’t give a damn if you stayed or walked? You’re probably right. Get rid of the loser.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure this book could live up to the hype. But that’s what made me want to read it. And the truth? I love it. I love the simplicity of the layout, the fact that it covers a whole lot of real-life situations, and the fact that the man writing it is able to convince us that there are some good guys in the world, though maybe not an overabundance. Yep, walked out of this book wishing there were a bunch of Greg-clones walking around, if only for us downtrodden, inconsolable, heartbroken women to have a late night phone-chat buddy.
This book should truly be required reading for all women participating in today’s dating world. Surely if all women dumped the guys that this book tells you to dump, there would be a much higher number of single people walking around. But maybe this book will at least serve as some food for thought, and help a few women realize that they do deserve better. Definitely worth reading. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
As a sidenote, I especially enjoyed how Greg kept insisting that we can’t “waste the pretty.”
This book is currently available at the Wausau Barnes & Noble.