We’ve all been there. First date jitters. Agonizing over little things such as what to wear, where to go, what to say, whether to lock lips at the end. It’s natural to get excited over a first date – the potential for a long term relationship has to start somewhere!
First dates are a great, casual way to learn more about the person you are interested in. Unfortunately, not all first dates can go well (trust me, this comes from a gal whose date once left during the middle of a show while she was in the bathroom), but we shouldn’t expect all first dates to go well. First dates are essentially a way to gauge whether the person you are attracted to is right for you. Of all the first dates you are bound to go on before you find that special someone (if you’re unlucky in love like me) it’s only natural for there to be some first date duds.
There are a few keys things one should gauge during a first date. If you figure it out on the first date it will save you weeks or even months of consecutive dates you could have been dating someone better suited for you.
Maturity: I hesitated to put age here, because I know plenty of people for whom age is not a factor. However, maturity should be a factor. If you’re a hardworking, straight-edge professional you need to ask yourself if the odd job, drink-all-day, pothead is really compatible wth you.
Kids: Definitely not a deal breaker – I know plenty of people who don’t mind dating someone who has kids. Personally, I’d rather not. I’m not good with kids and it’s just too much for a 23 year old woman to handle at this time in her life. If he/she has kids and you’re not a kid person, or don’t foresee having time to make a place for them in your life, you may want to second think another date.
Time/Distance: We’re all busy with work, family, gym, volunteering, and social activities – let’s face it, sometimes it’s difficult to squeeze a new relationship into that mix. If you’re not willing to make time for the relationship to work, it won’t. However, if you don’t have time for a relationship, you can still do casual dating. Maybe you’ll happen upon someone who is worth making time for!
Finally, just because things don’t work out on a first date does not mean you cannot remain friends. I understand, however, that sometimes this just isn’t an option. If your first date turns into a “dating recall”, don’t stress out over it – at least you’re putting yourself out there and you know what you want in a relationship. When you know what you want, it makes it much easier to find that special someone.