It can come out of nowhere. Your friend gets engaged and calls you giddy with the news. You share in her happiness and excitedly agree to be her bridesmaid. She has been your friend since middle school, so you couldn’t imagine her getting married without you standing next to her at the altar.
Then it happens. At some point between the ring and the altar she morphs into something you don’t recognize and you have a real bridezilla on your hands. What do you do now?
First, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are you overreacting? This is her wedding so you do need to play second fiddle for a while and let her shine.
However, if she is putting restrictions on her bridesmaids like weight limits, dictating their hair cuts, or vetoing any potential pregnancies, talk to the other bridesmaids. They will most likely be on the same page with you if your friend has gotten out-of-control, and together you can figure out a plan of attack. However, don’t actually attack. Calmly bring up to her that you know how important this day is for her and you want to be there for her, but you feel you are being treated unfairly. Ask her to see your side as well.
If there is only a specific issue or two where the problem lays, you can address those sole concerns instead. For example, if she expects all the maids to buy a dress they deem over their price range or state you all must have identically styled hair, nails, tans, and jewelry at your expense, explain to her that although you want to make her happy, there is a bottom to your wallet. Since you are in two other weddings this year, just moved, lost your job, or whatever the reason, explain this to her and suggest a similar, less expensive option if possible.
When asked to be a bridesmaid, it can be assumed that the dress and shoes will be your responsibility. Any additions that the bride deems mandatory, like having matching nails, jewelry, or expensive extravagant shoes should be covered by the bride.
In the worst case, if the bridezilla is truly being unreasonable, you can step down from your position. This may be the best thing if she will not budge on expenses you can’t afford or unreasonable weight-loss demands. Make sure to consider this decision carefully though, because it could put your friendship in question.
Most of all, remember this experience, and if you are not yet married, you can avoid the same mistakes with your bridesmaids. When you get married make sure to treat your bridesmaids as the friends you wanted to be.
Have you dealt with a bridezilla? What did you do?
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