My husband and I have been married for five years. We haven’t had much to talk about lately. When we eat dinner or travel together in our car, there is mostly silence between us. Not because we are angry with one another—we just can’t think of anything to say. What can we do to spark conversation between us again?
Needing Conversation in Terre Haute
Dear Needing Conversation,
Sometimes when a couple has been together for a while, it is natural for them to run out of things to say. Conversation is not something that is automatic—you must work at it.
Take time to watch your husband and learn his interest. Does he play a sport? Or, does he like watching sports on television? Does he like to read—if so, does he like fiction or non-fiction? Learn about him again. Then, ask questions.
If he is watching a ballgame at home, go into that room and casually ask who is winning. Ask him which team he wants to win? Show interest. Later, at a time when you are together and he is not watching a game—while driving for example—ask him to explain the rules of the game to you.
If he reads, ask him about the book he is reading. Ask him what he likes about that particular author. Ask him how that book compares to other books that author has written. Do some research on topics that interest him so that you can be better prepared to discuss them with him.
Try not to be disappointed if your husband does not immediately respond by asking you similar questions about your interest. You can always mention current events in an effort to stir conversation. Skim the stories in your local newspaper or on-line. Then, you can say to your husband, “Honey, did you hear that….” Don’t stop there, though. Delve deeper by asking him his thoughts on the subject.
Make sure that your husband is not distracted—by television, reading, making household repairs—when you attempt to have a conversation with him. Also, if your husband, by nature, is a man of few words, try to ask him open ended questions (ones requiring more than a yes or no response).
With a little effort, you can have stimulation conversations with your husband.
Renée Marietta is a Relationship Columnist, Relationship & Life Coach, and Motivational Speaker.
You may also visit www.bettermarriageforever.com